Tanhayee

The world of solitude and loneliness invites me with open arms as I begin my quest in search of professional excellence. In all the 24 years of my existence, I never remember a single instance where I have lived by myself. With sleeplessness being a regular affair for the past few nights, I look back at my life and occasions where I have left behind some amazing people. Some of them, I haven’t met since I bid farewell.

I take my heart and mind back to the final day of my 10th grade. I still remember the scene outside the front entrance of my school. Most of them in our batch were set to join different schools desiring a better curriculum. We stood, hugging each other and weeping like kids. (We were still sorta kids…considering we were still 16). Promising to keep in touch, we exchanged phone numbers, addresses and what not?? We still weren’t advanced as we are right now.

Considering the fact that the majority of the Indian bourgeois didn’t know much about the term ‘Internet’ during 1997-1998…I would consider we were scientifically backward when compared to the software might of the country right now. Lack of media and communication gap may be a lame reason to justify the ignorance of keeping in touch.

The number of people I have been in touch ever after that day have just been a handful. People get lost over time. My friend’s golden words always keep reverberating in my ears. He once said…

“The physical presence of a person is always essential to maintain the same bonding that you had with him/her as before”.

The words might be debatable……but in 90% of the cases it turns/turned out to be true.
With the rise and growth of the social networking sites like ‘Orkut’ and ‘Facebook’, there is a glimmer of hope for us to get back in touch and rediscover some of the people whom we lost over the years, but I doubt if we are ever going to be as close as what we were.

My second instance was our high school farewell. I more or less knew what the proximity between us was going to be after we part. Even though many of them in my new school were experiencing the ‘Farewell shock’ for the very first time, I was pretty much prepared for what to expect. The second farewell was less excruciating compared to the first one. The thing that I miss most about my Senior high school is the cricket team that we formed together. The discipline and zeal of the ‘Silver Falcons’ was something that was really admirable. We didn’t have a great outing in our one off game, but I thoroughly enjoyed playing with this team.
It was an amazing feeling when I got to meet some of these guys when I visited home last December. Was early in the morning and I decided to check out the field where I spent 33% of my life. I was rather astounded to spot my old teamies who were playing in the same location as we used to. (It was a colossal field where nearly 50-60 teams used to play in clusters) And yeah…yet again, been in touch with only a very few of them. It was like I hadn’t seen them for ages.

Undergrad college life was no different. You are always bound to make friends when you find a huge gang consisting of different majors. In addition to making friends inside the campus, I also had an opportunity to make friends with people whom I traveled alongside in the train. Yeah…same old story….lots of people…..and again, very few whom you are still in good touch with.

My stay in West Virginia was a bit more different. Culture shock, lots of unfriendly people, first time out of my hometown, terrible food (considering I’m a vegan) were a few things that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. With most of us, parting our families thousands of miles away, I learnt to see a family in the eyes of my roomies. Come joy, come sorrow, be it good or bad….we learnt to share it together. We shared really fond moments which would enduringly be etched in our minds. Some of these moments would serve as outstanding stories for our future generations. And after 2 years of intense fun, I look back at Morgantown and recall memories right from my very first day I set my foot in. I begin to set sail, part my second family and plan to start my life afresh in a new place. And, as I get my baggage and belongings together and check twice if I have left anything behind…I undoubtedly realize that I have left something that I cannot take back. I leave behind a part of my heart…….

All these experiences just teach me how to keep moving forward in life. Even though I’ll continue to miss my buddies and continue crying inside my heart, I understand life is all about moving forward. This takes me back me of a dialogue from a movie…which goes something like this…

“What is it you said to the kid? The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very rough, mean place... and no matter how tough you think you are, it'll always bring you to your knees and keep you there, permanently... if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. If you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit.”